Grumpy Old Love Gods: Be My Grumpy Valentine!
Love is about to get Grumpy:
In any era, it’s hard to be a love deity (we privately think it might be harder for anyone who has to deal with one). In the fourth installment of the Grumpy Old Gods Anthologies, our writers took up the challenge of writing love gods with total irreverence, a great deal of wit, and, in some cases, more alcohol than was strictly necessary.
In Pan’s Lavatory by Greg Nagler, our favorite witchy duo of Lilly and Mable are back in action with a spine-tingling tale of a zombie adult film star and the Grumpy God who arranged for her to rise from the dead. Remember: if you are ever tempted to make a deal with an ancient deity that smells like lavender and hangs out in women’s restrooms around Valentines…don’t. Just don’t.
In Hit or Miss by V. S. Stark, St. Robert has to fill in for Cupid, even though he’s mostly in charge of weather and parking. Oh well, he’ll just go with what he knows and hope everything works out. You can’t lose if you combine parking and love, right?
Mortality by Vanessa Finaughty takes us to a fantastical world where vampires roam…and even with eons of experience, our hero might still need the help of a trickster god and some serious firepower to get the girl. For…reasons.
Award-winning author Katharina Gerlach reimagines the story of Venus in her heartrending story, Searching for Love. Proving that time, space, and gravity are merely obstacles to be overcome.
In Maid in the Mist by Joe Kogut, we meet a young detective who is already in love – though encountering a Naired might make his ‘happily ever after’ kind of…deader than he’d prefer if he isn’t very, very careful of how he handles the case.
Hearn Goes A Hunting by Nic Steven is the story of how the hapless God Hearn learns how to use the internet for a new type of hunting. Spoiler alert: he might find that he is the prey.
In The Guessing Game by Stella B. James, the long-suffering niece of Artemis is desperately trying to start a nice, normal relationship, while the goddess of the hunt tortures…well tests him to make sure he’s worthy.
A Magnificent Mistake by Shelby Kisgen tells the tale of the best-looking guy and the ugliest girl in the village while reminding us that you should never, ever, ever demand anything from a trickster goddess.
The L.O.V.E. Council by Ariel Barrios involves a god who might be known by another name – and the group of goddesses that aren’t going to take no for an answer when the fate of love is at stake.
Fatherly Love by Jocelyn Lasley takes us on a journey of discovery wherein a young demigoddess learns that love can’t be borrowed, earned, or taken by force – it has to be given freely or it doesn’t mean anything. (No matter how many upgrades you make to Cupid’s arrows.)
In The Muse of Marketing by Vanessa Wells, Eros isn’t happy with his current be-diapered state (and who would be?). A new Muse might be the answer. After all, good PR can solve a lot of problems.
NOTE: The stories in this anthology deal with love and sometimes sex. This stuff is funny, but it’s not going to be everyone’s particular brand of vodka: and if you are too young to drink vodka you need to ask yourself if you are old enough to read this.