Hear ye! Hear ye!! Come one-come all check the newest call for themed short stories at Stormdance Publications. Link below.
We’re branching out of mythology and heading into the realm of Fairy!
There have been a lot of retellings of classic Fairytales, but we noticed that there were very few GRUMPY retellings. We’re looking for fun new twists on classic Grimm fairytales and well-known folklore. Is your tale of little Red Riding Hood told from Granny’s perspective? Maybe she’s a werewolf? Then you might be writing a story for Grumpy Old Fairy Tales.
In the grand tradition of fairytales, we have a distinct preference for clever characters that manage to get themselves into and out of deep trouble. Subvert our expectations and make beloved tales new again by changing the setting, theme, or POV.
If you give us sparkling dialogue, well-drawn characters, and (most of all) a real ending with a twist, it will make our little editing hearts skip a beat.
We are seeking twisted tales, grumpy retellings from the villain’s perspective, masterful switch-ups where the audience is tricked into seeing the tale they expect to see until the last minute (foreshadowing on this is key to keep readers engaged but not give the game away too soon).
We much prefer a hopeful, humorous take on the subject and theme. Make the reader chortle, chuckle, or choke on their tea if they drink it at the wrong time.
Be creative with the stories. Show us something we haven’t seen before and most of all, make us laugh!
Must have GRUMPY OLD FAIRYTALES VOLUME 1 in the Subject Line of your email. This helps us wade through the correspondence tsunami and spot the right anthology among the hundreds of emails.
So PLEASE be specific. Seriously. We’re begging you guys. Insane editors edit no anthologies, so if we lose our minds, all the Grumpy fun will end.
Must include a bio of the author (not that we’re going to judge anyone by their bio…it just makes putting the book together a lot easier if all the information is in the same place).
Social Media and promotion expectations.
No poetry. No plays/screenplays. No matter how amazing your poems are (and some of them have been) we simply don’t have a payment structure in place for something that short. As for screenplays/plays… we don’t have the marketing staff to branch out, and they obviously don’t work in an anthology.
Well, Wikipedia says… “It encompasses the genres of science fiction, fantasy, science fantasy, horror, alternative history, and magic realism.”
In our case, we want a fairytale element, but feel free to pick and choose where you set your story. We’re as likely to pick out fairytales in space as we are to enjoy a nice Viking battle set in a Steampunk Edwardian era that never was.
Most of all, for the love of little green gnomes, have fun with it! These stories are meant to be fun for the reader, but it’s our belief that they can’t be for the reader if they aren’t fun for the writer.
So, let that inner Muse out! Feed her pixie sticks, and see how much awesomeness she can cram into 4000 words.
(All Muses must be convinced to write in American English since the Editors of this anthology do not speak Ancient Greek, Latin, Gaelic, Phoenician, or Egyptian. Also, if you are writing mythology, please submit it to Grumpy Old Gods rather than Grumpy Old Fairytales)
(No PDFs or Google docs please. We’re willing to work with you if you need to submit in a different format, just contact us!) All info including BIOs should be submitted in a separate Word Doc RTF format, not in the body of the email.
We’re asking for the exclusive rights to publish the stories for one year in the anthology and non-exclusive rights thereafter. We prefer first-run rights, but judge each story on its own merit.
All authors who participate in the collection will receive an equal portion of the profit per a contract will be signed between the authors and Stormdance before publication. None of the startup costs for the book (book cover, formatting, etc…) will be deducted from the proceeds.
Vanessa Wells , Juneta Key, and Vanessa Finaughty.
Vanessa Wells: Self-professed short story junkie, writer, and editor of anthologies. (Seventeen Stones series / Topeka Cozy Mysteries / Area 52).
Juneta Key: Juneta is a speculative fiction writer. She writes about space opera, fantasy, paranormal fantasy while playing with the complexity of human nature with elements of mystery and romance. She wears a lot of hats as a story development coach, a Ninja Writers Team member, Insecure Writer’s Support Group admin, one of seven founders and host of the Storytime Quarterly Blog Hop, as well as published author. Editor of Grump Old Gods Volume 1-5. Learn more about Juneta here.
Vanessa Finaughty: A talented editor and fantasy author. She has written and edited for magazines, national newspapers in South Africa, Oxford University Press Southern Africa and the International Trade Centre in Geneva, Switzerland, among others.
***Cover Update & Change for Fairytales
Grumpy Old Gods V3 Blurb: Rose by Vanessa Wells: Something is killing wealthy businessmen, something that can rip out a heart and leave no DNA evidence – when the police can’t find the killer, it’s time to call a witch.
You can read the rest of the blurbs here.
The Grumpy Old Gods are back in a delightfully spooky edition. Sometimes poignant, sometimes funny, almost always grumpy, cranky, or cantankerous, these modern renditions of aging gods and goddesses will enliven the season and leave you wanting more
Vanessa Wells lives with her family deep in an enchanted forest (in Texas). Her hobbies include writing, drinking tea and coffee, reading, writing some more, and cooking. She battles daily infestations of plot bunnies…and dust bunnies, but that’s another matter entirely.
Vanessa Wells lives with her family deep in an enchanted forest (in Texas). Her hobbies include writing, drinking tea and coffee, reading, writing some more, and cooking. She battles daily infestations of plot bunnies…and dust bunnies, but that’s another matter entirely.
Vanessa is the author of the Seventeen Stones Trilogy, the Topeka Texas Chronicles, and the AREA 52 science fiction short story series. (Delta is coming September 6th!)
She is a contributor to the anthologies Adventure of Creation and Ye Olde Magick Shoppe, and editor for both Trick or Treat and Spirit, and co-editor for Grumpy Old Gods volumes 1& 2.
She is currently editing a new anthology called Grumpy Old Gods Volume 3 (coming in Fall 2019!) with Juneta Key and working on the next story in the AREA 52 series, Epsilon.
A short story form Vanessa to enjoy.
I ground my teeth together in frustration. “…But it’s a birdhouse.”
“In this case, house is the operative word, Sir. You have to have a permit or risk a 500.00 fine.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“I never kid Sir. That would be unprofessional.”
My son (who had helped me construct the little marlin house) looked from me to the beat cop with big eyes. I’d have to be a grown-up about the whole thing. “Of course, officer. I didn’t realize that our new zoning ordinance included birdhouses.”
He frowned, “Ignorance of the law is no excuse. It is your civic duty to be aware. You voted on the amendment in the last election.”
Honestly, I couldn’t tell you if I’d voted for or against it. I mostly went so I could vote against the guy…well, vote against one guy or another. I kind-of closed my eyes and guessed on the rest of it.
Nevertheless, I girded up my loins and went to City Hall, expecting perhaps to joke lightly and pay some small fee for placing my new ‘building’ on my own freakin’ property.
The wait to get into City Hall was outrageous. I was shocked at the lines when I managed to get past the metal detectors.
People were grumpily waiting in line with various forms while blank-faced civil servants told them that they were wrong in well-modulated tones.
I waited quietly though. Several irate men were hauled away in handcuffs, so waiting quietly came a bit more naturally than it would have normally.
When I finally got to the front of the line, I gave the clerk my best ‘aw-shucks’ grin as I approached. She looked up at me, unsmiling.
Like smiling would give me the wrong impression or worse, waste precious City resources.
“Miss, I think there must be some mistake…”
She never blinked.
I tried again. “The policeman who patrols around my son’s school came by this afternoon and claimed that I needed a building permit to put up this birdhouse.”
Her lips thinned and her eyes narrowed. “Did you try to put up said birdhouse without a permit, sir?”
“Well, yes, but I had no way of knowing…”
“Of course you did, you should have read the permitting ordinance in full at the time it was debated by the City Council.” She pointed to a printed code on her desk that looked like it might topple the thing any minute.
She pulled out a large pad of paper and a calculator. “So, we’ll start with a failure to file a permit fee and the non-negotiable admin fee.” She looked up at me, eyes still narrow and suspicious. “Will the birdhouse in question have any plumbing?”
I felt the vein in my head start pounding. “Lady, what part of birdhouse did you not get?”
She frowned. “Well, you either have a fee for reviewing the plumbing and sewer ramifications of the new structure, or the non-compliance fee for not providing appropriate facilities…”
“They are birds. They go outside.”
“Do you have any idea how much the City spends on cleaning up after pigeons who do not have the proper facilities available?” She sniffed. “The waste is disgusting.”
Since I wasn’t clear on whether she was upset about the money wasted or the actual waste from the birds, I let that one slide.
“Ma’am, I don’t mean to be rude, but how much is hanging the birdhouse going to cost?”
She sniffed. “Well, I can only guess at the exact amount…”
“Give it your best guess.”
She missed the sarcasm entirely. “5,043.26”
My eyes nearly popped out of my head.
“What?”
“Well, those are the basic fees and don’t include your inspections, because we charge extra on blackout dates.”
“Forget it. It was just a weekend project to build with my son.”
I swear her teeth got longer. “You mean you’ve constructed the structure without a permit?”
“It’s a birdhouse! I thought that was obvious since I mentioned putting it up.”
She screeched, “But that’s not construction! Don!!! We have another 345.2 in progress.”
A hulking policeman in a pristine uniform slammed me against the file cabinets.
“You don’t understand!” I was struggling, screaming…maybe frothing at the mouth. “It’s just a birdhouse.”
He hauled me through a double set of doors, into a white room.
Which (predictably) was filled with long-toothed aliens with weird machinery who were brainwashing the town with an eye toward world domination.
Strangely enough, I have to admit this made me feel better about the whole thing for the three seconds between the realization that we were being attacked and a laser beam erasing my entire personality.
Now I work in the zoning office too.
And you need a permit.
© Vanessa Wells 2017 All Rights Reserved
