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10 Comments

  1. Bill
    February 2, 2019 @ 17:37

    Loved the twist! So many questions…Who was the kid? what was going on in the diner? What happens next? Made me think of Hansel and Gretel. But this could go so many directions…

    Reply

  2. Elizabeth
    January 31, 2019 @ 14:54

    Bwahahaha… I don’t think I’d have taken anything from that diner. Yikes!

    Reply

  3. Anonymous
    January 30, 2019 @ 15:58

    This started off as a story about a teenager much like any teen worried about losing car privileges, I thought. Ending did not! Pretty dark. Now I want more!!
    JQ Rose

    Reply

  4. Karen Lynn
    January 30, 2019 @ 15:29

    Still a winner! I hope the poor kid makes it out alive.

    Reply

  5. Katharina Gerlach
    January 30, 2019 @ 14:48

    Awesome. This could grow into a short story just as well as into a novel. So write it!

    Reply

  6. Nic Steven
    January 30, 2019 @ 12:15

    Scary. I think there could be a follow up with a story about what’s going on at the diner.

    Reply

  7. Vanessa Wells
    January 30, 2019 @ 07:45

    LOL! That was creepily awesome. Great job.

    Reply

  8. Angela Wooldridge
    January 30, 2019 @ 05:43

    I thought it was familiar. Yes, I want to know what they’re up to too, do let us find out please!

    (and wow – has it really been 4 years???)

    Reply

  9. Raven
    January 30, 2019 @ 02:00

    That was great! I loved the twist at the end.

    Reply

  10. Barbara
    January 30, 2019 @ 00:05

    I like the twist, but I wonder what exactly the people at the diner are up to!

    Reply

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