Fantasy, Satire Author Hank Quense Queen Moxie Releasing Feb. 1st

The Beltane celebration was going strong when the King of the Forest Fairies, Oberon, arrived. He rode on his portable throne carried by eight burly fairies. In the center of the clearing, the porters placed the throne on the ground. All eight collapsed from the exertion of carrying the obese King. Oberon was four feet tall and bald. His facial features were almost hidden in folds of fat. He wore a green tunic shot with knitted images of leaves and vines, plain dirt brown pants and a crown of gold fashioned to resemble interwoven vines. The material in his tunic and pants could have clothed a dozen fairies.

The fairies in the clearing — hundreds of them — stopped eating, drinking and dancing momentarily to bow their heads to Oberon, who acknowledged them with a wave of his hand. The fairies all wore forest green tunics and matching pants enabling them to blend into the forest surroundings.

Beltane celebrated the end of spring and the beginning of summer and was the favorite fertility festival of the fairies.

All around the clearing, fires roared and cast strange shadows. Pairs of fairies held hands and jumped over one unusually small fire, a rite that hand-fasted them. At many of the fires, fairies cooked food that was consumed as soon as it was finished. Kegs were emptied soon after getting broached.

Oberon roared to one of his porters, “Fetch me some lily bundles. Six will do for now.” Lily bundles were a favorite food of the fairies and consisted of a measure of dried pond scum wrapped in a lily pad and toasted. Dried pond scum had to be used because it was too early to harvest fresh pond scum.

“You,” Oberon roared at another porter, “get me a drink.”

“Yes, Lord.” The fairy groaned as he stood up. “Do you want dandelion wine or acorn beer?”

“Bring me both.”

Titania, Oberon’s wife and Queen of the fairies, approached and placed a hand on his meaty arm. She had beautiful facial features, but because she rarely smiled, those features were frozen into a frown. She was slender and shorter than Oberon.

“I hope you won’t drink too much tonight and make a spectacle of yourself. You’re much too fat to dance. If you try you’ll probably break something.” Titania raised her walking stick and shook it in Oberon’s face. It was made of oak and had a knob on one end. Whenever anyone angered her, Titania would smash them with the stick. The back of Oberon’s bald head was covered with indentations and bumps.

“There are many fires about, Titania,” Oberon snarled. “If you hit me with that stick, it will feed one of the fires.”

Titania wandered off to the closest fire and chatted with the fairies there. A scout approached the throne. He carried a bow in his hand and had a quiver of arrows on his shoulder. “Where have you been?” Oberon asked. “I haven’t seen you in over a week.” “I’ve been watchin’, Lord. Humans have landed across the bay and I’ve been keepin’ an eye on them.” Titania joined Oberon to hear the scout’s report.

“At first there was only warriors in three boats, but now twelve more boats have arrived carryin’ many more warriors with women and children. They even have a few goats and chickens in each boat.”

Oberon waved a hand. “Humans are always showing up unexpectedly.”

“You fat fool,” Titania snarled. “This bodes trouble. The humans breed like rabbits. It won’t be long before they need more land. And where will they look for it? Here, in our forest, that’s where. That’s how we lost our land to Powys, thanks to your indifference. This time you must pay attention and protect our trees.”

“Hmm.” Oberon rubbed a hand over his jowls. “Perhaps you’re correct, my dear.” To the scout, he added, “Take a few more archers back with you. Watch over the humans and send someone back with reports.”

The scout knuckled his forehead and backed away from the throne. He walked to the cook fires and devoured a few lily bundles then washed them down with acorn beer. After that, he disappeared into the forest accompanied by a lithe female.

“You better do more than watch this time,” Titania said.

“Leave me. I don’t want you nagging me.” Oberon, despite his appearance of disdain, was troubled by these new humans. He sensed they would be the start of troubling times. Oberon hated situations like this. No matter what he decided or didn’t decide, it would lead to bigger and worse problems. Why couldn’t the humans bugger off and leave him to eat, drink and be merry?